Dirty Talk
by TimBurtonFanatic247
Summary: What happens when 2 georgous girls want you and your completly oblivious. this is a really funny parody . please read and review! :


Corpse Bride Dirty Talk

WE DO NOT OWN CORPSE BRIDE OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS AND I DO NOT OWN THE SONG "TALK DIRTY BY WYNTER GORDEN. ALL RIGHTS GO TO TIM BURTON AND WYNTER GORDEN.

Victor walked into Victoria's room and she was sitting on the couch. "Victor I've been waiting for you." Victoria said flirtatiously. "Oh … you ... Were …" Victor replied uncomfortably as he pulled at his tie. "Yes, let's do something dirty." Victoria said as she got up from the couch. Victor looked confused. "You… wanna get me dirty?" "I am no angel, I like it when you do that stuff to me!" Victoria sang. "What stuff?" victor asked confused. "I am no angel I like it when you talk, talk, dirty when you talk, talk." "What? Did I forget to brush?" victor asked checking his breath. Victoria walked up to victor grabbed his tie and pushed him on the bed. "Kitten Heels, Lingerie, pantyhose, foreplay." She continued. "Oh, you mean four square! Alright let's go play." Victor said heading for the door, but Victoria stopped him and continued singing. "Legs up, on the bar, in the back of your carriage." "Legs? On a bar..? I don't own a carriage... I think I shall be going." Victor said wondering why Victoria was acting so peculiar. "Latex, Champagne." "Victoria we are only 19." Victor stated. "Bubble bath, Whipped cream." "Victoria if I smell just tell me, you don't have to tell me I have a dirty mouth and need a bath! "Victor said, slightly annoyed. "Cherry pop, Tag Team, Can you make me scream." "Why would you want me to scare you?" Victor asked. "I wanna do some dirty things to you tonight." "I don't understand why getting me dirty would be fun." Victor grew increasingly uncomfortable and even more annoyed with the present situation. "I'll see you later." Victor said trying to leave once again. "I wanna fight all through the night." "Victoria you make no sense!" Victor yelled. "What has gotten into you?" "You hopefully." Victoria responded. "What are you talking about? I have to go." Victor said finally getting away. When he got out the front door he tried to shake off the strange thing that had just happened. He went to see Emily, maybe she could explain to him what Victoria was talking about.

-At Emily's House-

"Emily, Victoria kept talking to me about getting me dirty, and playing four square, and talking about my carriage, and I'm so confused. I don't even own a carriage! Emily leaned close to victor. "I am no angel, I like it when you do that stuff to me! " Emily whispered. "Oh no not you too, and WHAT STUFF!" Victor yelled. "I am no angel; I like it when you talk dirty when you talk." She started to sing. "I really must smell horrible." "Blindfold, Featherbed, and Tickle me, slippery." "Well, if your blindfolded you're obviously gonna slip." Victor said matter-of-factly. "G-spot, nasty pose." The spot of G is 7th in the alphabet." Victor stated proudly. "Love machine, by myself." "If you wanna be by yourself, Ill leave. Yes that sounds like a good idea." As Victor started for the door, Emily grabbed him and pushed him on the bed. As she started for his lips, Victoria busted through the door. "We never get to kiss, BECAUSE OF HER!"Emily yelled. "Victoria it's not what it looks like." Victor said wide-eyed. "I've been giving you hints left and right and you completely ignored me and then I come here and see you making out with this ugly thing, she's not even alive victor!" "I may be dead but at least I'm not an ugly, pale, bug eyed freak who's only with Victor because of your arranged marriage, otherwise you guys wouldn't even know each other." Emily spat bitterly. "Well Emily, you're the one who got killed by a guy who just wanted your money, and, might I remind you that meeting you wasn't Victors choice, he was practicing his vows for me, remember Emily , he would never marry you, he said it himself." Victoria replied. "You guys shouldn't be fighting over me since I "smell so terribly". Victor shouted. "Victoria the only thing you have that I don't is a beating heart, besides that your dull, boring, and just plain annoying, seriously your hair is probably stuck like that since you keep it in that dumb little bun all the time." Emily yelled. "Oh yeah well… you're..." Victoria was cut off by the sound of Victors yelling. "STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!" "Can you even have sex with a dead person?" Victoria asked. ".GOD! I GET IT NOW!" Victor exclaimed. "EWWW! Victoria! I would never have sex in a carriage. And Emily blindfolded? You don't need to get all technical, have you girls ever heard of just a boy, girl, and a bed!" Out of nowhere a curtain moved and Lord Barkis walked out. "Have you ever heard of a foursome?"

THE END!


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